Supporting Challenging Behavior When You and Your Co-Teacher Don’t Agree

What do you do when your co-teacher is stuck in the same behavior traps we talked about over the past 2 weeks — either overly strict or overly permissive — and it’s making your job harder?

This is a tough spot many teachers find themselves in.

You might be striving to be playful but not permissive, setting calm, confident limits, and connecting through play — but if your teammate’s approach doesn’t match, it can cause confusion for the kids and frustration for you.

Here are a few ideas that have helped teachers I work with:

  • Start with open, honest conversations. Share what you’re noticing, and ask how they feel about behavior challenges. Sometimes just naming the struggle can open the door.

  • Model your approach. Kids pick up on consistent limits and playfulness. Over time, your co-teacher may notice how well it works.

  • Pick your battles. You don’t have to change everything at once. Focus on a few key routines or transitions where you can tweak together so you can be more consistent.

  • Ask for support. If you’re feeling stuck, talk to your director or a coach who understands these challenges. Sometimes a third perspective helps shift the team culture.

Remember, it’s not about blame — it’s about teamwork and finding a way to give kids the consistency and connection they need.

If you want more ideas or want to share your experience working with a co-teacher on this, I’d love to hear from you.

➡️ Post your ideas, thoughts or stories in the comments below.

You’re not alone in this!