We all have a relationship with “challenging behavior”.

Every early childhood professional has a relationship to working with children who hit, kick, spit, throw things, tantrum, run out of the room or just don’t listen.

I am not talking about your relationship with specific children.

In actuality, we each have a relationship with the whole idea of “challenging behavior,” with this aspect of our work. Just like we have relationships with other things or phenomena in our life like exercise, sleep, money, time, etc…

Just like relationships with the people in our lives, our relationships with challenging behavior can be healthy, rewarding, maybe even interesting, meaningful…or whatever it is for you.

When it comes to working with children who exhibit challenging behavior you may love that part of the job, or you may think of it as something that gets in the way of teaching…or something that children’s families, your director, a behavior consultant or mental health specialist should fix.

Your relationship with challenging behavior may be heavily flavored with upset that you don’t receive adequate training or support in this area of your work. That’s fair….

In true New Year’s fashion, I’ve been reflecting not only on this past year but also on my journey in early childhood.

I've been thinking about how I went from being completely overwhelmed by challenging behaviors like hitting, kicking, spitting (!?), throwing things, running out of the room, and just not listening…

…to loving working with children who exhibit challenging behavior.

And in fact, feeling a calling to help such children - and those of you who work with them - so much that I’ve in fact made it my life’s work.

In some ways, I was always drawn to those kids who were deemed “challenging” by myself and others.
But that doesn’t mean that early in my career I was successful with them…

Oh my gosh, please tell me you have some time off coming up soon?

It’s WINTER (at least in the United States) and really, shouldn't we be hibernating!?

I don't know about you but I am taking off the last week of December and I am seriously counting the days.

Don't get me wrong...I loooooooove my job!

I'm currently working on preparing training for our TCB Teachers Club ❤️ and preparing for our free, live online Transform Challenging Behavior training series that I'll be leading February (SO excited! ✨) so there's nothing negative about the work itself.

If you’ve been struggling with challenging behavior and nothing you try is working please don’t beat yourself up.

It’s probably because you haven’t received the play-powered folk wisdom of our early childhood ancestors OR your college courses and the training you’ve attended left out the research-based play-powered challenging behavior prevention strategies!

YIKES!

Last week I mentioned that classrooms filled with joyful learning for all children and minimal challenging behavior are created by Transformational Teacher-Leaders....NOT by burnt out workers.

Now, how do you know the difference between an early childhood educator in the burnt out “worker” mindset versus the Transformational Teacher-Leader mindset when it comes to behavior and beyond?

I learned just as much from actually teaching preschool as I did in all 10 years of graduate coursework.

No matter how much or how little formal education you’ve had, maybe you’ve had a similar experience?

Today’s question comes from Sam who teaches 2 and 3 year olds....

Q. Do you think it’s appropriate to ask them ‘what day is it?’, ‘what month is it?’, ‘how many days are there in the week and month?’ I think they’re too little. We can sing the days of the week and clap the syllables but that’s enough isn’t it?

Do you work in a program where children in your class are currently required to wear masks?

If so, what are some strategies you’ve found to help children keep their masks on?

This week I’m looking to YOU to help one another and to help Amber* the Director of a small preschool.

Some of you have been teaching since early in the pandemic, whereas others have just gone back this Fall.

I recently received this question from a reader in Plovdiv, Bulgaria but I’m certain it will resonate with early childhood professionals around the world…

“We try to have some time for rest and relaxation in the afternoon after lunch. We have a really hard time making children lay down for a while and relax...advice?

- Katerina (name changed for privacy)

Katerina, many teachers share your rest time struggles!

And, while it’s easy to pinpoint nap time or quiet time as the problem, in reality the solution starts much earlier in the day…

Last week I shared that challenging behaviors are sometimes the result of well-intentioned activities that are not “appropriate” for the age group or developmental abilities of one or more children in your class.

In fact, a lot of common early childhood practices are actually too hard, too easy, or simply not meaningful for the age group that they are commonly used with.

That’s true not just about actual lessons or activities but also about common ways we interact with children - things we say or do.