I’m going to spill the tea on the three biggest mistakes I see when it comes to handling challenging behavior in preschool classrooms.
After working with thousands of amazing teachers, I’ve noticed a few common missteps that hold people back from getting the results they’re working so hard for. So let’s shine a light on what not to do—and what to do instead 👇
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Mistake #1: Staying in Reactive Mode
If you're only planning your lessons—but not planning ahead for:
🚨 Joshua rolling during circle time
🚨 Anna bolting out of the room
🚨 Keol ignoring clean-up while others follow suit
🚨 Chaos at rest time...
You’ll always feel like you’re putting out fires.
What to do: Plan ahead for those recurring behaviors. Use my system or any that speaks to you—but be proactive, not reactive.
Instead of asking “How do I respond to X?” try:
“How can I prevent X from happening tomorrow?”
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Mistake #2: Using Permissive Strategies
Reminders, redirection, “walking feet,” or “no thank you” might work with easygoing kids. But for the ones with chronic or intense behaviors? They need more.
They need explicit teaching on:
🧠 Self-regulation
💬 Communicating needs
🤝 Navigating conflict
🎯 Playing cooperatively
🧘♀️ Calming when upset
What to do: Check your social-emotional curriculum. Make sure it actually targets these skills and that kids like Joshua, Anna, and Keol are excited to participate in your social-emotional activities and lessons (if not, how can you make them more engaging and linked to those children’s interests?) Then, coach them in the moment they need it.
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Mistake #3: Misunderstanding Self-Regulation
Many teachers report that they have one or more children who “struggle to self-regulate”. Strategies to promote self-regulation tend to focus on teaching children to breathe and return to calm, But the ability to self-regulate actually means that children can move as they desire through high and low arousal states, fast and slow, big body movements to tip toe (I forever will credit Mike Huber for driving this point home for me).
Children need the following in order to learn to self-regulate
Games and Songs like Red Light, Green Light and Freeze (teaches stop and go)
Tiger Hunt, Dragon Hunt or Bear Hunt (teaches to upregulate as well as down regulate)
Sensory Activities (to ground/calm when upset but also can help with staying present for children who shut down when upset)
Recognizing/Expressing Emotions and Wants/Needs (cause the only way out is through)
And, yes, keep teaching the Breathing Exercises and calming techniques, too!
...without truly understanding what self-regulation is and how it develops we miss essential activities and we’ll never help certain children develop the ability to truly self-regulate.
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The key here? No shame, no blame.
We’ve all made these mistakes—because this is what gets modeled in so many programs.
If you're thinking, “Yikes, I need more support with this…” — you’re not alone.
The TCB Teachers’ Club is the only place where I teach my proven 4-Step System for transforming challenging behavior in early childhood classrooms.
👉 Click here to hop on the waitlist
Thanks for hanging out with me today. I see you. I appreciate your work. You're making a difference.
So tell me, which mistake are you ready to let go of?
Let me know in the comments below.