Do you have kids who don’t follow directions, yell “no” even when you ask them to do something you know they like to do?

I’m talking about the limit testers, the ones you get into daily power struggle with.The tantrums.

If you work with kids like that and it often even escalates to them running away from you or to extreme aggression then this video is for you...

I see and hear about this a lot - behavior struggles that are the result of children refusing to come to teacher-planned writing activities.

Last week I got several amazing comments about this.

…BUT one was special because it came from my childhood best friend, Mel!

I recently received an email...

Hi Barb - I currently have a 4 1/2 year old who hates to do school related activities of any kind...

He only wants to play....

He refuses to work even when I know he is fully capable of doing the work... 

How do you reach such a child? I will not give up! -Elizabeth

Elizabeth, thank you. Thank you for asking such a fantastic question, “how do you reach such a child?” 

My short answer?

Most of us beat ourselves up about a whole host of things.

From a brain perspective our negative self-talk stems from the reptilian or primitive brain’s obsession with looking for threats (lions, and tigers and bears - oh my!) 

I’m sure you’ve heard others say it but this brain wiring was super functional for our ancestors when there were literally dangerous wild animals potentially lurking behind every tree. It was necessary for our survival.

And, to be sure, this “negativity bias” which causes us to constantly scan for threats can serve a purpose in our current world but in many ways this negativity bias is getting in our way. Herein lies the problem...

“The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.” – Rich Hanson, PhD. 

This week I want to get a little bit personal and ask you a question…

How do you talk to yourself?

Do you talk to yourself like you are your own best friend?

Are you compassionate, loving and kind?

Or…

We have a whole host of myths circulating about the conditions necessary for learning and development…

Many early childhood professionals think that you need specialized knowledge to help kids who hit, kick, throw things or just don’t listen….especially when the behavior is extreme. But…

What most early childhood teachers never realize is that what you learned in school automatically sets you up for failure when it comes to challenging behavior.

Our son is on the autism spectrum and we have a tough time with him understanding and recognizing our emotions, as this is a struggle with most individuals on the spectrum.  

I began to use his favorite books and talked about how the characters were feeling and it helped!  

Just recently I had a magical moment at a difficult bedtime. 

Which of your daily tasks to you dread, avoid, or wait until the last minute to do?

In contrast, which things in your life have you jumping out of bed in the morning? Are there certain errands that you love to do like shopping for birthday cake ingredients cause you're excited to bake a cake or treating yourself to a new pair of workout pants? And, other errands that you dread and avoid like the plague - maybe it's to purchase cleaning products?

Actually, hey...