Are you inadvertently inviting kids to yell, "NO!"?

I keep learning again and again that for some reason its wildly pervasive in our field that we give kids choices when in reality there's no choice!

"It's time to clean up now, ok?"

ACK!!!! No no no no NO! Don't say that. You are inferring a choice where there is none!

I don't know why we do it exactly but its SO pervasive. We put that upswing, infer a question, or even use the "...ok?" at the end of sentences that should really be statements. 


By doing so we are inadvertently inviting power struggles! 

We are inviting them to say "NO!" (and many of them do).

So, this week listen and see if you or those you work with or supervise or doing this.

If you do want to give children a choice make sure you offer *two choices that work for you as the adult*.

For example, "do you want to take Pete the Cat or Abiyoyo to your mat for rest time?"

Or, "Do you want to clean up the big long rectangle blocks or the little squares? I'm gonna do the medium rectangles.."

Then, you might have a child who likes to be adversarial say angrily, "I WANT TO DO THE MEDIUM RECTANGLES!!!!"

To which you can calmly say, "Oh! Well....OK. Which ones should I do?"

(Over time work on tone and using friendly words. Honestly today is not the day. He's fighting you to clean up!!!! GREAT :) Just go with it.)

Can you hear yourself or those you work with in your head saying "...ok?" or offering choices that don't work for them as the adult?

Please share in the comments below.